Effective Discipline 101

Have I mentioned Nathan's stubborn streak? Well he has one and a temper to go with it. Kind of a "My way or the highway" guy. Now that he is old enough to understand the relationship between behavior and consequences, we decided that a form of discipine should be put into action. We chose time outs in the pack and play which is set up at the foot of our bed. As you can tell from the pictures, there is a real negative association with being in the time out crib :) It has become the latest fort. Today the Elmo chairs were added in as well as snack time. Back to the drawing board!

Winter...

Winter has arrived in Iowa! Here are some snapshots of what we have been up to...(sorry they are in reverse order)


Making the first snowman of the season.

Nathan looks thrilled, doesn't he!?

Tessa is thrilled!

Nathan and his "guys." He spends hours putting lego people on a car-type object and taking them off again. If possible, they all need to have a hat on. At one time, one guy was lacking a head but since the hat still worked, he was okay with it.

Bonding time before bed. Just pretend you don't see our almost two year old still drinking out of a bottle.

Fall

I find fall to be such an amazing season! I think that it would rank as my favorite out of the four. I really enjoy the change to cooler weather, the gorgeous colors, the comforting warm food, and the cozy inside feeling when it gets dark earlier.


Here are some of the latest fall photos from the Brouwer family...


Jumping into leaves with the neighbor. He comes over every Thursday since his mom works and Tessa does not have kindergarten that day. It is a highlight of her week to have him over.






Nathan loves Casey...Casey tolerates Nathan. It seems to work for them.

Tessa's birthday is another reason to eagerly anticipate fall. This year she had her first friend party. It was a blast!

We are amazed at how quickly Tessa is picking up on reading! One Saturday morning she woke up early and while Gerrit and I avoided getting out of bed, she did this on her own...wow!

Nathan loves to do whatever his sister does, including hair styles.

Hi, Did I scare you!?

Tessa's first day of kindergarten! She thinks that school is fun and adores her teacher.

Nathan has really gotten into books lately. Mommy loves to see her kids engrossed in a good book. The one he is reading..."No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed!" A classic.

Tessa lost her first tooth a couple of weeks ago. It was a very exciting time! Mommy is in the background showing her how to smile so that the gap is visible--attractive, isn't it!

What else have we been up to? (I am sure that your lives will not go on unless you know):

~A great trip to Lake Michigan with amazing friends at the end of July.

~A Brouwer family reunion in a gorgeous area of Colorado in August.

~School and all of the other events that start up again in the fall.

~This weekend we are going camping with good friends of ours. There is no school on Friday so the dad's took the day off and we are going to enjoy the amazing Fall weather! Give me a "s", give me a "m" give me an "o" give me a "r" give me an "e" give me a "s" What does that spell SMORES. (Have I ever confessed by strong addiction to chocolate?)

About time for a post, eh!?

Dykstra family reunion on Lake Michigan. Oh Lake Michigan, how I (Michelle) love thee! Tessa spent hours playing in the sand!

The sprinkler ball. I wasn't sure if Nathan would like it so I didn't bother putting his suit on. As you can see from his saturated outfit, he loved it!

Lake Michigan. Nathan wasn't quite sure what to do in the sand until he found his own mini-lake a little up shore. We call this expression his gomer smile.

Tessa's first horse ride! Horse rides were offered uptown as part of the July 4 festivities. She was very tentative at first, but after getting used to it, she loved it! We had to go back in line for a second ride on Bozo the horse. (Notice the shirt she choose for the special occassion).

Our summer has been a fun one! We have been to the zoo, the doctor for kindergarten shots, the dentist, the pool, Vacation Bible School, Wisconsin for a Dykstra family reunion, and visited with our great friends from Michigan. The sprinkler ball has come out a couple of times and they both love it! We have also had some friends come over to play and visited the library.

The kids have spent a lot of time outside. Both Tessa and Nathan can pass many hours in the backyard. If Nathan feels that he has neglected to pass adequate time outside and we are not catching his cues, he brings us his sandals and says "soes."

As of today, the humidity has hit and hit hard. This cool-weather-loving-mom has plans to hibernate for the rest of the summer.

Other than hiding in the basement, we have a couple of trips planned. At the end of July we head to Michigan to spend some time at a cottage on Lake Michigan (swoon!) with Marc & Shelby. In August we drive to Colorado where the Brouwers are converging in one huge cabin/mansion. After 4-5 days there, we return home just in time for kindergarten to begin!

The Van Den Brouwerstras

Note Tessa's expression upon seeing that Nathan pulled off a Tulip Petal!

About to take off!
On the run, without that annoying hat!

These are pictures of the kids in all of their dutchness. Nathan was more interested in running around than posing, but we got a few good ones of him. Tessa loved being dressed up and posed beautifully!

Go Figure

Last weekend we had wonderful friends over for Tulip Time. I thought that I had the house reasonably clean. I don't claim perfection, but it looked pretty good. I must have dusted in poor lighting because today I went in the guest bedroom armed with a feather duster to check for cob webs and wouldn't you know that I found some of the biggest ones in the history of man kind! I am surprised our guests didn't ask for dusting supplies and/or offer to hire us a maid. Sorry Van Burens!

Pictures, hooray!

Early 2008, Nathan is learning to stand

One of the many forts Tessa built this winter. At first she tried to keep Nathan out of them but he is a determined little guy! This is one of the first times she willingly let him come in to play.

The grill. Notice the fancy grill tools on a hanging, circular stand.

January, 2008. Visiting the chicken ranch in California.

Opa & Oma (Gerrit's parents) have a neighbor who has 2 horses. Tessa was in her glory!

Now that I figured out the pictures, I will try to post some more recent ones. They are still on the camera.

Yeah!......Oh

Nathan was born with a clogged tear duct. We had an appointment with a specialist to look into the possibility of surgically opening it when it opened on its own. Cancelled appointment. Yeah!


Nathan's cardiologist appointment went very well! Dr M. is pretty certain the hole, which in medical terms is called a VSD, is closed. We do not have to go back until Nathan is 3. Yeah!


Nathan has a double ear infection. When we went in for his one year well-child visit the doctor discovered the owie ears. After 10 days of antibiotics it did not clear so we are on a higher potency medicine. Oh.


Having his diaper changed, clothes put on or removed, or any kid of outer wear added to his pudgy little body is not Nathan's favorite. The last couple weeks while wrestling, I mean changing him, I noticed a little bulge above his belly button. It appears when he is straining to get away from me. The doctor looked at it yesterday and thought it was a small hernia. If it gets bigger, we need to go see a pediatric surgeon. Oh.

One more thing and Cardiologist

Another item that is kind of strange and cool at the same time, is how birthdays fall in our family.

First, the extended family. Gerrit's oldest two brothers share the same birthday, a year apart. Their wives also share the same birthday. On my side, we all have birthdays in consecutive months. Brother-in-law and sister, June and July. Brother and sister-in-law, November and December. Gerrit and I, September and October.

In our immediate family of four, our birthdays are the following dates: Gerrit 2nd, Michelle 2nd, Tessa 25th, Nathan 5th. So IF there is another one, it would be cool to have it fall on the 2nd, 5th, 22nd, or 25th.

Now that you know this information you can go on with a more fulfilled life :)

We are off to the cardiologist today. Nathan was born with a small hole in his heart that the specialist likes to check on every six months. He has assured me over and over that is not something to worry about and that it will not affect is quality of life, but I still get nervous. I think that in the back of my head I wonder if they will say "The hole has enlarged, time for open heart surgery now!"

Actually typing that out makes me wonder if I watch too much TV.

I explained the hole in the heart situation to Tessa last night. I think that she is a little worried too (insert comment regarding the apple not falling far from the tree). She asked to come along to make sure Nathan is okay, sweet girl. I told her she was going to play at her cousins house instead. All of a sudden, she was not at all worried about Nathan's heart. She did, however say "Oh, is the owie in his heart why Nathan is grumpy and cries a lot?" My response, "No, that's just Nathan."

Challenge

I have been challenged to share things about me that others may think are strange. I think that they are totally normal but you are free to come to your own conclusions.

1. I once saw a show about this family living in one of the southern states who, when going to use the facilities, saw the head of a snake peeking back at them from the toilet. It turns out that a large, scary, and dangerous snake had found its way into their plumbing system and the only exit? The toilet. That totally freaked me out and to this day I will not go to the bathroom at night without turning the light on and checking for snakes first. I have carried two babies to full term which means many blind-myself-with-the-light night trips to the bathroom.

2. I love animals but am very afraid of any kind of reptiles. Mice, bugs, anything is fine except lizards, snakes etc. The first time I flew to CA to visit my then boyfriend Gerrit, I went outside with him and a few lizards ran across the outside of the house. I ran inside. I still married him.

3. I am not a picky eater or indulge on expensive groceries except meat. I get totally grossed out by fatty meat and/or by parts of an animal that are not intended for human consumption. (Dale and Kathy, I think that you can come with an example of this!) If I am eating a dish with meat that can not be easily studied (such as chunks of chicken in a casserole) and bite into a gristly part, I will not eat another morsel.

4. Food stresses me out. I really enjoy cooking and baking, especially if it something that I have not made before. If I had a day free of little ones, I would thoroughly enjoy spending it in food preparation. You could probably sell me a cookbook I already have for more than I bought it for. At the same time, I get very stressed if I do not have a menu plan for the week. I am not a "let's see what we have and what I can make with it" person. I feel very out of sorts if we are low on groceries. Once my fridge is full, I feel much better. In regards to the fridge, mine needs to be organized. It may be that you could not see flooring anywhere in my house but if people (husband) put things in my fridge haphazardly, I may have a break down.

5. I am not the greatest singer. I can follow a tune when music is provided but on my own I am hopeless. I can not harmonize or keep pitch. You will not see me in a choir or church praise team. One exception is singing soul. That throaty forced singing...I am really good at it. I have actually shocked people with this talent. If, however you ask for a performance, you will not get one. It has to be totally spur of the moment. The right place at the right time.

6. I have a thing with rings. After I had Tessa, my knuckles expanded. I could force my wedding ring on but could not get it off again. Stress, break down, melt down are much to mild to describe the feelings I have if I can not get a ring off of my finger. I think that I would literally pull my finger out of its socket to get it off. When I see someone else wearing a ring that appears to be permanently attached to their finger, my blood pressure soars. I can not fathom how they are walking around knowing that if they wanted to get their ring off, they couldn't.

Plea for Help and Understanding

Okay...

Just been reading in a parenting book that children's' allowance should not be tied to chores. Their chores should be solely due to the fact that they are part of a family unit that works together. Their allowance solely to learn money related skills. The only time they should be paid for jobs is if they go above and beyond their expected work load. One illustration was that if the child needs/wants extra money, you can offer additional jobs to them. From this thought comes my plea: My house needs a really good cleaning and I have a ton of ironing to do...Anyone want to earn some extra money?

I also have been racking my brain for the last day and have not yet been able to understand Dale's comment. I am pretty sure it was a joke and intended to be a slam on me, but I don't get it. Obviously Jean did, so here comes my plea for understanding...Could one of you explain?!

One is Fun

Nathan is one. He didn't really understand the importance of the day, but he reached the one year anniversary of his birth unscathed. As I mentioned in the previous post, there were not too many bells and whistles for his big day but it was special none the less. He opened (actually pulled a blanket off of) his present from Gerrit, Tessa, and I; stared at us while we sang "Happy Birthday" and enjoyed mashing a piece of his cake. We have photos of all of it but still haven't figured out the posting pictures part; so you'll have to imagine.

Nathan really likes the present we bought for him. It is a Tonka truck that you can push or ride on. The coolest part is that when you turn the key it plays the cutest little puttering along song. We call it the Tonka Rap. Nathan enjoys dancing to it. Again, you will have to envision him standing by his truck bending his knees rapidly and swinging his head back and forth. We think that he gets his dancing talent from his dad. If you are wondering what that means, ask Gerrit to show you some of his moves sometime...you won't soon forget it.

Nathan also received cards, clothes, gifts, and money from extended family--Thank you! The most exciting for him where the cards; he loved them! A close second were the tags that came on the clothes; another super exciting invention!

Yesterday, Nathan went in for his one year check. We are always interested in seeing what his height and weight are since he was so huge at birth. Well, he is 75% for height as well as weight. His head is still rather large, a trait from my side of the family. Developmentally, he is right on course. He is walking along things, standing on his own, and has even taken a few steps. Speech wise, he is definitely surprising us. He is able to say "Mama, Dada, Tessa (Tetta), Uh-Oh, Down (to Casey our dog), Hi, Whoa, and Hello--when holding the phone or a Ritz cracher to his ear.

When he has acquired the possession of something he shouldn't have he says "Tetta's" It is his way of telling on himself. Yesterday the doctor gave him the light that he uses to look in your throat, eyes, etc. in order to get him to stop screaming. He looked at it, said "Tetta's" and handed it back. In other words, "I don't think that I am supposed to have this!" That genius type comprehension and sense of right & wrong comes from my side, the screaming during the exam, from Gerrit's :)

I will end this post by telling you how famous our son is. Every year the hospital publishes a year in review. In the OB section, they list the heaviest, lightest, tallest, and shortest babies born. Well, we are proud to say that Nathan was both the heaviest at 12.8 pounds and longest at 22.5 inches. I am pretty sure that there have been babies that were longer than him but he has the hospital record for weight. We are still waiting for the year of free diapers and/or college tuition.

What If There's More?

Gerrit and I have asked ourselves and each other many times "What if we have more children?" There is a sense of anxiety with this question for two main reasons.

One, our children seem to be exactly opposite in everything. Tessa was a content baby who slept through the night early, Nathan wasn't and didn't. Nathan does not like eggs and yogurt, Tessa loved them. Tessa cried during her bath, Nathan cries when you take him out. Nathan loves to cuddle and be held, Tessa liked her space and independence. The list goes on and on. So, if you have two children that are polar opposites on everything, where will subsequent children fall? Somewhere in the middle or is there such a thing as three or even four opposites?

Secondly, there has been a shift from "Let's do everything by the book" to more of a "Oh, he'll be fine" mentality. For example, shortly after Tessa was born, there was some kind of fund raising dinner at our church. My thoughts were somewhere along the line of "No one can hold her unless they sterilize their arms up to their elbows and wear a mask." After Nathan was born, another dinner! Driving to the church, I was thinking of specific people that I hoped would offer to hold him so I could eat in peace. Nathan's car seat was turned to the forward position before he turned one, he ate table food way earlier than Tessa, and we think we have taken some pictures of him.

Probably the situation that has showed our attitude switch the most is The First Birthday. We are two days away from Nathan's big day. Two days out from Tessa's First we had ordered the cake, bought matching plates, napkins & table cloth, invited everyone who remotely knew us, had the presents bought and wrapped and basically the entire day scripted out. Well, we bought Nathan a gift on clearance at Wal Mart which I plan to put a bow on top of. I am making the cake which will have a candle on it and be served on our daily dishes. There is no party, Gerrit actually has a meeting the evening of his birthday. We will remember to take some pictures, I think.

So, if we have more children, he or she better come with an alarm that will sound on their first birthday to remind us. That is, if we remember to take him or her home from the hospital!

Raise your hand if...

Today was yet another day of canceled school! Normally, I don't mind and even enjoy when there is a bunch of snow and school closes. Having grown up in a climate that included a long, cold winter, I learned indoor hobbies and contentment. One example is jigsaw puzzles. I LOVE them. Tessa is following in my foot steps and is able to find homes for an amazing amount of pieces.

Today's school cancellation was disappointing to me. Today, Tessa was supposed to go to the kindergarten room and have one hour of "pretend" kindergarten which parents were invited to come and observe. I had made arrangements for Nathan to go to a friend's house while I was to go watch Tessa in her hour of grown-up-ness. This was an event I was greatly looking forward to.

To be truthful, I have mixed feelings about our baby girl going off to school this fall for three whole days each week! What will she do without her mother for that long?! Or, truth be told, what will her mother do without her for that long!

Before Tessa was born, I taught kindergarten for five years. I loved it. Kindergarteners are at the age where school is exciting, learning is fun, and your teacher is the coolest person you have ever met. I am so excited for Tessa to experience the joy of school, learning, and friends but I want Gerrit and I to be the coolest people in her little life. I want the joy of seeing her master educational concepts, paint, play with friends at recess, get her lunch all by herself etc.

Well, by the grace of God, I got to see a little glimpse of our to be kindergarten student right here in our own home today. Since school was canceled but work schedules still go forward, our two neighbor boys came over to play this morning. The older boy is a kindergarten student, the younger is in Tessa's preschool class. During lunch they began playing "Raise your had if..." It was hilarious. Every single year I taught, during every single lunch hour this game surfaced. I usually sat back and listened, enjoying every minute of it. Sometimes to the delight of the students, I would join in and raise my hand when it applied to me. After all, who can keep their hand down when someone says "Raise your hand if you like chocolate?!" I would raise both hands for this one. (This led to many gifts of chocolate during Christmas time--one of the reasons I want to return to teaching some day!)

So, I witnessed our oldest child participate in the time-honored game of raising her hand for what applied to her and keeping it down for what didn't. Proof that she is ready for the adventure of school. Very fun. I joined in too.

The most delightful moment of all was realizing that Baby Nathan was playing right along with us. Someone would make a statement, kid or kids would raise their hands, and Nathan with a big grin raised his. For one statement he even lifted both in the air--a strong statement for such a little guy. Everyone was saying ridiculous things and laughing hysterically when he would reply with a smile and a little hand in the air. What a precious memory but I am definitely not ready to send him to school yet!

Charcoal Bliss

Before evening church, we broke out our brand new grill and had the yummiest pork chops ever!

Up until now, we had a cheap-o grill that we bought when we were first married. It needed constant supervision since flare-ups were a regular occurrence. What wasn't burnt was dry while other pieces of meat were under cooked. Very frustrating.

My sister and her husband have an amazing grill that Gerrit had been drooling over for awhile. It is a Webber--charcoal with a gas starter. It allows for the yummy taste of charcoal with the convenience of gas. Genius!

So yesterday, armed with a credit card, Gerrit went to the local hardware store and purchased the same grill. This is quite a step for us since we tend to plan, talk, research, talk some more, think about it, look on-line...you get the picture. I like to think that we are super stewardly, careful, conscientious, etc. but the truth is we are both cheap. Frugal is probably a more positive description.

Well, we are now planning to grill every night for the next month! The meat was so delicious! Gerrit said he only flipped the pork once and was even able to walk away from the grill without fear of a singed supper. Tessa response was "The last time you made this meat I didn't like it, but this time you cooked it good Daddy!" Nathan wolfed it down, but that seems to be his pattern with almost anything edible and well, actually, things that are not edible too.

I have a picture of the grill, but mastering posts is probably enough for one day!

This is fun!

Okay, I even found this back and successfully completed my 2nd entry. I promise that from here on out, there will be more substantial content to my entries. Now to tell all of my family and friends of my new found hobby!

I did it!

I started a blog! I do not claim to have the most exciting life or extra-ordinary writing skills but with most of our family out of state and/or country; I wanted an avenue to keep in touch.

Now I have to figure out how to post pictures and access the blog once I finish this entry!